''Nothing beats a child's smile, when it comes to true happiness...''
This is my favorite quote, but these days, when I hear the word 'child', I only remember Berkin Elvan...
#berkinelvan
So much words to say, so much things to learn.
Berkin Elvan was a 14-year-old boy got hit by a gas canister during the June Gezi Protests in Istanbul. He passed away yesterday.
Thousands were in the streets in his funeral ceremony, the media and government was silent.
We all know that for the last 296 days, his family never gived up, all good we hoped and prayed.
He was the reality, if he had woke-up, we all know that, days will be brighter than the previous ones.
If we can see his smile, we all have new dreams for a bright future.
But, yesterday, he passed away with his childhood, and his future.
Yesterday, rain turned into tears.
We all owe him, his future, his dreams and his childhood.
Hi Gamze,
ReplyDeletefirst of all, I congratulate you for choosing a topic that it has been being in the spotlight. Well good job !
In my opinion your english is ok. Your sentences are not so comlicated and they are nice connected eachother. Only I can advise you maybe that you (also we) should check the passive sentences. (Martin, I'm sure you have understand :))
So.. this is the first time for our english project.. Wauw!
Hi Gamze,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Özlem your topic is very good. There are lots of things to tell but it is nice. I understood it easly.
In my opinion, I realized " if clause " structure problem but I am not sure. thank you very much for your post
Biravuc, thank you for getting us started and congratulations on your post. ON and Gulistan thank you for your comments. Learning from your own English is a powerful way to learn, so if you can, try to suggest solutions for any areas you think are wrong. Don't worry if your solutions are not right, mistakes are a wonderful way to learn. A main point of this blog is to learn from mistakes, so don't be afraid to make them :-)
ReplyDeleteBefore Nick & I post the final corrections, here are some clues for all three of you about what we are going to say. See if you can comment with what you think are the solutions.
Paragraph (P) 5 (starts with "so") : words, things are countable - so what needs to change? What needs to change in each of the following paragraphs?
P6: (starts with "Berkin") : a relative clause
P7: media+government = plural
P8: irregular verb
P9, P10: if clauses
Once again, try to suggest solutions (including Biravuc) and let's see what we can learn together :-)
I'm not sure but they are my suggestions;
ReplyDeleteP5- So many things
P6- Berkin Elvan was a 14-year-old boy who was hit by
P7- were
P8- given
P9- if he had woken-up, days would have been brighter than the previous ones.
P10- If we had seen his smile, we all would have had new dreams for a bright future.
Excellent Gulistan!
DeleteP5 - so many words, so many things
P6 - 'a boy who' is correct to start a relative clause where the subject is a person. For the passive element 'was' is the normal structure, but in fact 'get/got' is also acceptable.
P7 - were
P8 - his family never gave up. We all hoped and prayed for good.
P9 - if he had woken up, days would have been brighter
P10 - If we could see his smile we all would have dreams (Gulistan's interpretation is also possible)
Please let us know if you have any questions about any of this.